Don Quixote

Chasing windmills and/or dragons.

I guess its perspective as to which it is that we are charging at. When we see someone we love charging at a windmill sometimes the best thing to do is to charge with them and see the dragon as they do. It is not always a good idea to try and tell them its all a mistake. Even if they know that it is from the start. The only way that they are going to really be able to slay that dragon is to go after it, and find out it really is a windmill after all. Or hey it might really be a dragon and it is hiding, the rest of us can’t see it because we don’t have our TEMs on.

Our job as a friend, a true friend, I mean the “you are my family that I choose” kind of friend, is not to stop others from falling down, it is to help them up when they do fall. Yes we have to be honest, but sometimes it is better to just be supportive, do everything we can to help them, and not be an ass and a know it all. Being supportive can be a lot harder than being helpful at times.

“Oh I was being honest and helpful, by telling them they are making a mistake”

Well there are times when that is needed sure, but there are times too, when it is better to say here is your lance, i will hold the extra horse, so go charge… Being happy for someone to try something is a good friend. Help them, be there for them, and don’t say I told you so. I told you so is a cop out and weak ass attempt at making yourself feel superior nothing else. It serves no purpose at all. No one learns anything from “I Told You So”

Things can be caught up in our psyche for ages, a person can get into our head and the only way to exorcise them is to work at dealing with them. Distance and time both help, but even then we need to have a goal in mind to make the distance and time endurable. Besides, none of us knows what is supposed to happen, and none of us knows what will happen, all the possibilities are out there, in the past and the future.

Fathers Day

Today is Father’s day here in the US. To give the back story about what I am posting about: On October 13, 1982 my father, Jack Lammers died of a massive heart attack. He was at work teaching 6th grade at Bryant school, when he started to feel faint and was taken to the hospital by the Principal, Mr. Halverson. He died shortly there after.
Today is a wonderful day for families all over. It is an important day to remember our fathers and to honor them. Which we don’t do enough. Our fathers teach us, love us, raise us, guild us… They don’t get the credit that mothers do, which is both fair and unfair. Since there are great fathers, great mothers, horrible fathers, horrible mothers and all grades in-between. Sadly, and thankfully, all mothers and fathers are human, they all fail, they all had sex, they all had good and bad thoughts, they have all succeeded and are infinitely cooler then we thought they were when we were in high school.
My parents had a great way of raising me, they let me know I wasn’t the center of the universe. They protected me, they taught me, but they were the couple, they were the ones who were in love. I was added later. There is just about no way you can go wrong as a parent, as long as you are there and don’t abuse your kids. Be a good example of what it is to be a Gentleman or a Lady for your kids. When they grow up, they will act how you acted, and we all become our parents in one way or another. My father was a gentleman, and a great teacher. He was intelligent, kind, thoughtful, very witty, funny, and incredibly talented. I am a pale shadow of his best attributes, I hope to become better each day.
My favorite poem is a sad one, it is about death, and loss. The loss of someone special who goes to early from our midsts. Death is not the end, it is just a change of address. I will leave this with the words of Lord Byron...
And Thou art Dead, as Young and Fair
BY LORD BYRON (GEORGE GORDON)
And thou art dead, as young and fair
         As aught of mortal birth;
And form so soft, and charms so rare,
         Too soon return'd to Earth!
Though Earth receiv'd them in her bed,
And o'er the spot the crowd may tread
         In carelessness or mirth,
There is an eye which could not brook
A moment on that grave to look.

I will not ask where thou liest low,
         Nor gaze upon the spot;
There flowers or weeds at will may grow,
         So I behold them not:
It is enough for me to prove
That what I lov'd, and long must love,
         Like common earth can rot;
To me there needs no stone to tell,
'T is Nothing that I lov'd so well.

Yet did I love thee to the last
         As fervently as thou,
Who didst not change through all the past,
         And canst not alter now.
The love where Death has set his seal,
Nor age can chill, nor rival steal,
         Nor falsehood disavow:
And, what were worse, thou canst not see
Or wrong, or change, or fault in me.

The better days of life were ours;
         The worst can be but mine:
The sun that cheers, the storm that lowers,
         Shall never more be thine.
The silence of that dreamless sleep
I envy now too much to weep;
         Nor need I to repine
That all those charms have pass'd away,
I might have watch'd through long decay.

The flower in ripen'd bloom unmatch'd
         Must fall the earliest prey;
Though by no hand untimely snatch'd,
         The leaves must drop away:
And yet it were a greater grief
To watch it withering, leaf by leaf,
         Than see it pluck'd to-day;
Since earthly eye but ill can bear
To trace the change to foul from fair.

I know not if I could have borne
         To see thy beauties fade;
The night that follow'd such a morn
         Had worn a deeper shade:
Thy day without a cloud hath pass'd,
And thou wert lovely to the last,
         Extinguish'd, not decay'd;
As stars that shoot along the sky
Shine brightest as they fall from high.

As once I wept, if I could weep,
         My tears might well be shed,
To think I was not near to keep
         One vigil o'er thy bed;
To gaze, how fondly! on thy face,
To fold thee in a faint embrace,
         Uphold thy drooping head;
And show that love, however vain,
Nor thou nor I can feel again.

Yet how much less it were to gain,
         Though thou hast left me free,
The loveliest things that still remain,
         Than thus remember thee!
The all of thine that cannot die
Through dark and dread Eternity
         Returns again to me,
And more thy buried love endears
Than aught except its living years.

Where ever you go, there you are...

There is an idea that it seems a lot of people have, that we are disconnected from the world. That the natural world and the human world are not the same thing. That we are not connected to the universe, that we are separate from it. Think about this for a moment, really think about it. Why is it that we believe that just because something is man made that it is not natural? Why is it that we think we are not part of the universe? What kind of arrogance is it that says we are separate? What kind of ego does it take to say “I created this and thus it is not part of the whole.”

Often people seem to have this idea that things that are natural are good and not destructive. That the world is always in perfect balance, I agree the world IS in balance. We are part of that balance. But if we are part of the balance, then doesn’t it mean that even the imbalance that we seem to create is just part of it too? How can you say that humans only destroy things, or that we are throwing things off? How do you know? Is it just because thats the way it always was up till now. The dinosaurs were the dominant creatures right up till they weren’t anymore.

We need natural spaces, but that just means that we are not allowing ourselves to connect with the world that is around us. Aren’t all things just atoms? Aren’t all atoms made from the same blocks? Matter is just energy that is being lazy… If that is true, then how can you separate a building from a tree, a star from a baby. Once you let go of your concept of us and them, when you realize it is all just us and us, then you are always connected with the universe.

So often people tell us that we need to reconnect, or that we need to go else where to find ourselves. We already know ourselves, we just need to remember that and we need to listen to ourselves. If someone is trying to sell you a bill of goods that you need to do something to achieve your higher self, you should listen to yourself and know that you already are there. We interact with the natural world all the time… we breathe in the air, we feel the gravity, we touch the world in all ways and the world touches back.

The Tao is everything and nothing… God is in you, and you are in God.

Forgive, its the path to peace.

Finally a thought to write about

Okay so its been a year since I wrote anything, I haven’t had a lot to discuss I guess. But I thought I would give this another try. This entry isn’t about anything spiritual, just something I am going through right now.

Trying to lose weight.

Lets get this out of the way right now, yes it is hard to lose weight, yes it takes work and dedication and it is frustrating and just plain a pain in the ass, and feet, and back and legs, arms, heck just a pain. Okay thats said, we aren’t going to say that ever again, I am so sick of hearing how damn hard it is to lose weight. In fact I think it is a problem that we keep telling everyone that its so hard. It took years to gain that weight, why should it suddenly be easy to lose it? Heck talk to someone who wants to gain weight and I promise they will tell you how hard it is to do. Sure for me, I could gain ten pounds in a week, but I basically am an olympic level weight gainer with years and years of training. What I have a problem with is that we keep telling everyone how hard it is to lose weight, and that we end up convincing people that its too hard to do. It isn’t any harder than going to work everyday, than changing diapers on a baby, than doing the laundry, than cooking, than providing for a family. Those things are all hard if you look at them, yet we do them, because they are important and they are a priority. So stop saying that it is hard, and realize its not that hard, it just has to be done.

Will it be frustrating, hell yes, you will hit plateaus and those suck to high heaven, I seem to hit one every ten pounds or so. Usually on the 2’s. like 262, 252, 242… it wouldn’t be so bad if it was the 8’s then it would feel like still accomplishing something. But no, I have to sit a couple of lbs from the next milestone, taunting me. But then I know when I hit those that I need to change it up, do something different , add in some more exercise, something to push me over the hump. Its worth it, thats for sure. That feeling of seeing the next set go down, is worth it. Then the motivation is to not let it slide back up. Which helps.

i miss eating what I use to sometimes, sure. But I eat so much less than I did now, I just can’t eat what I use to. The food I loved, the bad processed stuff, the fast food, etc makes me feel fairly bad now. Not that I eat that healthily but I eat a lot better than I did, thats for sure.

The other night I had a dramatic experience showing me that I do feel better and I do have more energy than I did just 6 months ago. I went out with my girlfriends and we danced for four hours. There is no way I could have done even an hour in March. I had a great time, and I just love to dance, of course being a fat white boy from Iowa, I am not good at it, but hey who cares. No one, thats the point of dancing. Anyway, back to weight loss.

So, don’t tell yourself it is hard, its not hard, just tell yourself its easy and you will do what you have to do everyday. Workout, do something everyday. Eat less, Calories in Calories out. That is what is comes down too. Eating the right things helps, but you really want to change how you feel and look, then you need to exercise, at least do something, move a little. I am a little addicted to it now, to be honest, I feel horrible if I don’t work out for two days. i try and work out 6 days a week. i don’t really do any weight training yet, but I am going to start and add that in. Right now, its just an Elliptical and a station bike with a little swimming thrown in for fun.

I just want to let any who happens to read this that you can do it if you want to. Its all about what you make important in your life. If you truly decide that losing weight is what you need and want, then it will happen, even if that means having to get surgery or something. Whatever works. But none of it is a quick fix, it takes years to put on weight it will take time to lose it. Don’t give up, thats all we can do.

So, remember, use that TEM (Third Eye Monocle) and change the way you see the world.

TEM on my friends, TEM on.

A story of a SCUBA dive

This is a simple story of a dive I did a while ago. The names don’t mean anything, its just a story. But its something I truly love. One of my great passions in life is SCUBA.

The Last Dive

“This dive is going to be the last dive needed for your Advanced Open Water certificate, and this is the deep dive.” Don talks loud enough for all of us to hear over the wind and the engines of the boat, as we speed to the dive site. Finally after 3 days of check out dives, we are going to finish with required dives and get the next level of diving certification. “When we get down to 100 feet we will meet on the bottom, just make a circle around me and I will give you a problem to do. We will be staying there for only as long as is needed to finish the question. Once everyone is done, I will give the okay signal and then head back to the boat, you should have some time left if you want to look around a little, but watch your air closely. I will not have any out of air situations on this, now will I?”
        “No, sir” half the class replies like good students, the other half either don’t care, or are too cool to answer. I laugh slightly watching everyone else to see how nervous they are. Most of my fellow divers have not gone down this deep and they were a little nervous.
        As everyone begins to gear up, the bright colors of the different fins almost glowing with yellows, pinks, greens of our rental and personal gear trying to mimic the sights of the reef below. Each of us careful to hold on when standing up because of the weight of the aluminum tanks holding the life giving air attached to our vest style buoyancy compensation device (BC.) A line forms at the dive platform at the end of the boat, and we walk two by two like Noah’s charges escaping from the ark. Neither first, nor last, I patiently wait to get to the platform so I can finally put my fins on, and get in the water. Standing with the tips of my day glow yellow fins hanging off the platform, a few inches over the brilliant turquoise water, I put the regulator in my mouth, with a seemingly loud gasp, taking a test breath and then jump.
        Giant striding into Mother Ocean, has always felt like going home. The embrace of the warm water pulling me back to the place where all life came from. It is good to be back. Popping back up to the surface, turning around and looking at the dive master watching me from the platform, I give him the ok signal, thumb and forefinger touching in an O, then I let the air out of my BC and sink back into the best place on earth, the ocean. The seemingly blue water is crystal clear as I dive downward, watching the others in my group as some frantically hold their nose and blow, to equalize the pressure building in their sinus cavities and ears. Chuckling to myself as I just pop my jaw, pretending that I am chewing gum and never worry about it. I find Don, and follow him, slowly kicking as we head down past 33 feet, the first atmosphere now passed, the pressure now double what it is at the surface.
I glide, feeling the warmth of the water, the slight, almost nonexistent currents. Each breath I take I feel the sudden cold of pressurized air and the bubbles, being expelled from my mouth and regulator, rushing past my mask. This, most certainly, is not a silent world, the water is alive with the sounds of my fellow divers, and mostly my own breathing, each breath a Vaderesque reminder of life. The rasp and release of each breath lends its own rhythm to the dive, each one being different, each a new and perfect beat for that moment.
        We descend. Each diver flying, falling as thru the air to the sandy floor below, a controlled descent, each ungainly human transformed into the waterborne creatures life started as. Landing, on our knees, dumping air from the corrugated hoses on our left shoulders, softly settling around Don, each in turn giving the ok signal to let him know we are alright and ready. The sand settles around us, a slight snow fall of landing about our knees, a faint clicking surrounds us, the sound of shrimp doing their business along the reef. Each of our eyes intently waiting, gazing out of our masks, some calm, some a bit frightened, but none large and panicked.
        Taking his slate out of a pocket, our instructor writes with the attached yellow pencil, ordering us to find the answer to a problem on our dive time charts. Each of us search thru our tables, trying to find the right answer. I show my answer, he nods and gives me the ok, first of the group to finish, first to leave. I add some air to my jacket, and float up not wanting to disturb anyone. Glancing up, seeing only the surface a 100 feet overhead, I glance back down and see my fellow aquanauts as they work the problem.
Dumping some air to get to neutral, I look around and about 40 feet in front of me is a series of crevices looking very inviting. Glancing at my pressure gauge, I still have over 2000 psi left in my tank, more than forever really to look around. My computer also tells me I can stay at this depth for longer than my air will last. I swim over and start to look along the coral, striking upwards about 15 feet, the other side of the small canyon 10 feet away. Soft, hard, bright, dull, purple, green, dull reds, yellows, even the faint brighter reds of the corals are showing up at this depth, the water above so clear and calm. I float, my hands clasped at my waist, pure joy and happiness infusing my being. I search for small creatures who live in the small places of the world. The ones who many divers miss, when they shot over the reefs, in a hurry to see the whole thing, when the real action and life is small and happening in square inches not miles.
        Out of the corner of my mask my mind registers that some of the others have left the circle in twos and threes, heading back to the boat, none seem to want to stay and experience the beauty. A hole beckons me, moving closer peering in I see a green moray eel looking back at me. As large around as my arm, he breathes slowly, his teeth flashing with each breath. I know he won’t do anything if I don’t bother him, and so he lets me watch as he gazes back. So intent am I on this new friend I have made, that when I get tapped on the shoulder, I jump slightly and turn to see Margo, one of my fellow students staring back at me.
        Margo is the oldest of the students, a home maker from Dubuque, she has always wanted to learn to dive, and this trip was a gift from one of her children. She has always been friendly if very quiet. Her slightly graying hair floats above her mask as I look into almost saucer sized eyes. She was scared, close to panic and very upset, her movements, despite the water were quick and frantic. Making the ok with her fingers she looks at me, as if she is about to bolt for the surface and horrible decompression sickness, known as the bends. The bends so called because of the excruciating pain inflicted upon the joints as nitrogen bubbles form and expand, making the victim hunch over.
        Reaching out, I touch her hand, making sure I get good skin contact, she calms slightly her movements slowing as the human touch makes things seem slightly better. I ask if she is ok she shakes her head, not remembering how to really communicate with her hands at this point. She points upwards and tries to tell me she doesn’t know where the boat is. Giving her the ok, slowly, so slowly we head upwards, I keep her close to me, so I can touch her hand or grab her if she does panic and decides to do something stupid, getting herself killed in the process. My mind keeps going over what to do if something bad does happen, grab her bc, dump air if she is trying to bolt to the surface, keep your looking in my eyes, keep physical contact, keep her calm, make sure she goes slow, panic will kill her, but no matter what happens I will not die.
80 feet.
70 feet.
60 feet, we go up slowly, I make sure we slow as we climb. I ask her what her air pressure is, she looks, looks again, then holds up 1 finger meaning she only has about 1000 psi left, which if more than enough at this point.
50 feet.
40 feet, she can see the boat, and starts to relax, I keep her from swimming off to the line. I want to make sure that she gets there and gets on the boat.
30 feet, we are directly below the boat, the sound of the water slapping against the hull and the engines humming to themselves are clearly evident. The safety line hangs at 20 feet, we go up a few feet and take a hold of the white line drifting downward. She is finally calm, and I can spend this time reflecting on the dive. The beauty of the colors, my new friend Mr. Moray, the question which Don had asked us. All of it sitting lightly in my brain waiting to be recorded in my dive journal. Keeping an eye on Margo, the whole time, my computer lets me know the 5 minutes have elapsed and we move up to 10 feet for a couple minutes. The slight wave action moves us up and down a few inches as we wait.
        Surfacing, the air feels cooler than the water, it is still a perfect day in the islands, the world below gone for at least an hour. We swim to the platform and hand our weight belts up to the waiting dive master, he smiles and takes the belts, tossing them behind him. A strong hold on the ladder and our fins are next, we climb up, and walk, slightly hunched over to our stations to take our gear off. Sliding the jacket off my shoulders, I finally take my mask off, and grab my glasses. As I turn off the tank, so I can disconnect the regulator, Margo walks over and taps me on the shoulder again, this time I don’t jump.
        “Thank you for that” she smiles sheepishly for a second.
        “Hey no problem, glad you are okay. What happened?”
        “Well I was down there and it just started to get to be too much, I didn’t know where the boat was, everyone was leaving and then I saw you. You looked so calm and relaxed, like nothing was wrong, that nothing could bother you, and I just knew that you knew where the boat was. I hope you don’t mind”
        I laugh and lie to her “Of course I don’t mind at all, I was glad to help.” Yes I was glad to help, but I did mind a little, I wanted to stay down and enjoy myself. Why couldn’t she have tagged Don to save her. I would have still been down there at this point, but I guess I got to play a hero and that’s not all bad, I think Mr. Moray would have been proud of me.
        

The Forest

This is something I wrote a while ago, but it is basically one of the ways I look at the world, and how we should travel through it. I hope it makes sense, but as always your milage may vary... Not sure which TEM is needed for this one, I guess maybe the one with bug spray...

The Forest
Jack walked through the field, the sun warm on the back of his neck. His parents were with him, and when the three of them first entered the field, they carried him. It was wonderful. Jack didn’t have to worry about anything, all he had to do was stretch out his hand and his Mommy gave him everything he needed. Daddy would protect him, both Mommy and Daddy took care of him. After a while he was set down and started to walk on his own. But still holding his parents hands. The breeze would play around in his hair, and his laugh was high and free. There was never any reason to be scared. Mommy and Daddy were always there. Even at night nothing was frightening, for they slept on either side of him, protecting him, keeping him warm. This was how it was supposed to be. As they walked the trees up ahead got bigger and bigger. This field was easy to walk through, there were easy paths that his parents always picked out. Each path lead to the food he needed, to sleep at night, and he learned what they wanted him to learn. All this was so simple and easy.
Each morning when Jack woke, and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he would look around. The bright blue sky, the shining sun, and he would look at how the wind played with him and danced through the tops of the field. Birds sang and called to each other. This was a warm and safe place. But those trees, they were dark, and green, and huge. Getting bigger and bigger each day. Each day there were more and more insects, more birds, a deer once ran past them. Jack thought he even saw a fox one day, pointing and yelling at it. His father laughed and said, “Yes it was a fox, many animals live in the forest, where we are headed. But don’t fear, we will protect you … always.”
Jack kept marching towards the forest, all the while his hand in his dad’s warm grip. He was happy, and knew he was safe and secure. He never saw the look on his mom’s face as she walked behind him. Worry and fear crossed her eyes as she looked forward to the looming trees.
Finally, the three reached the trees. The sun felt so hot that it was a relief to step into the shade of the giants. Jack’s skin cooled quickly, the sweat being whisked away as the breeze rushed past them to get into the cool of the forest. At first Jack couldn’t see anything, and he let go of his father’s hand to rub his eyes. The air was alive with the beating of wings, the small flying insects of the forest seemed to flock to greet them. Jack could hear new and strange bird calls. Slowly his eyes adjust to the seeming darkness. The yellow of the Sun has turned a glowing green through the leaves. Shafts of golden yellow light steak downwards to play with the bright green of moss. While there is more noise here, it is also strangely quiet. Jack can hear more life here than he ever imagined could be.
Suddenly he realized that his parents are not standing right next to him anymore. He looked around, for a frantic moment. This was something new, they had never not been there. Then he saw them, standing a little ways away, looking at him. Jack smiled, and waved. His father waved back. His mother’s voice flits through the leaves as if she is farther away than he thought. “Jack, come over here, we have a path all picked out for you.” She beckons him. His father joins in “Come here Son, this is the safe path, we have it all picked out for you. You can see down this path, its great. There is a beautiful wife, and children for you down here. You will make a lot of money and be happy. This is what we always wanted for you.”
Jack looked down at his feet and started to walk towards his loving parents. They only want what is best for him after all. He sees that this path has had many feet tread upon it. Suddenly he felt something brush against him. It felt almost like ghosts were rushing past. Jack stopped, looking around. Just out of the corner of his eye he can see others walking along the path. Ghostly white and almost there, but almost not there too. These are the others who have gone this way and will go this way still, so many people. As he looked around Jack noticed something shining from the woods to the right, away from his parents. He stepped that way to take a look. There just at the edge of his sight seems to be someone. He takes another step away from the glowing path, into the cool green dark of the woods.
“Jack…Jack.. come here, there are wonders in the woods, things that you will never find if you take that path. So many others have walked that way. All the treasure is gone that direction.” The voice is musical in a way that nothing has ever been to Jack. This is something new. He finally catches sight of the speaker. A woman of slight nature. Almost as wondrous as his mother, she is beautiful beyond words. Dancing and laughing, she peeks around a tree at him. “Jack, come on, don’t take the easy path. That is no fun. You want to climb through the woods. Make your own path. Think of the things you will find, what you will see. Come with me.” She laughs and flits away again. Jack takes another step and finally he really is in the darkness of the trees. Glancing back he sees his parents, but they are not as bright as before. His mother is looking scared now. His father looks angry. This is new too. The way they look it worries Jack, and makes him afraid too. He wants to go back, but that is scary too, if he goes back they might yell at him. Or they might make him walk that glowing path. Is that what he really wants?
Jack works his way into the cool, lovely forest. The ground is soft and damp. Moss grows on the trunks, slimy as he touches them. With each step he goes deeper and deeper into darker parts. No one it seems has gone this way, but he knows he saw that woman walk this way. From time to time he catches a whiff of earth, and the soft fragrance of light flowers carried on the puffs of wind he can feel. He jumps over a root seemingly as large as he is, and suddenly on the other side of the tree blooms a clearing.
Standing in the middle of the clearing is the woman, but this can’t be right - she has wings, like a butterfly. She is standing arms out stretched, her head thrown back eyes closed embracing the light, but not of the Sun, no this light is colder, lighter, it must be from the Moon. Jack steps out into the light, the chill of the night playing along his arms.
Suddenly from the woods on the other side of the clearing he hears a crashing sound. Those woods don’t look as nice, or friendly as they did in the daylight. Something is breathing hard. Jack can make out red eyes glowing in the darkness. They are intent upon the woman. She looks at him and smiles a sad smile. “Yes, Dear Jack, there are monsters too in the woods. That is why not everyone goes this way. It is dangerous. But will you run? You can still make it to the other path. Your parents will always take you back. At least they might.” Her laugh is not comforting at all, an edge of mania in it, or perhaps just a touch of fear. “What will you do Dear Jack, this is where you have to choose, save me, and forever walk in these woods? Or leave me, and go back to the ghosts of possibility that your parents have conjured up for you.” Jack stands still, no knowing what to do.
“There are monsters in the woods. There is love there too. Hatred, fear, happiness, sadness, peace, tranquility, and war. All these are in the woods.” A voice Jack has never heard before, it seems to come from all sides, as if the trees themselves are saying these things. The eyes still glow in the shadows ahead of him, the woman standing in the clearing. But now the world has gone still, nothing moves. Only the voice, soft yet so strong. “What will you do, Jack? This is your choice, will you take the path less traveled? Will you find yourself here, or will you take the path of many feet? Let your parents decide your life, as they did in the field? This is your forest, not theirs. This is your path if you wish it. What will you do?”
Jack looks around, finally seeing the trees for what they are. Not scary, not good or evil, not helping or hindering him. This is his life. He can get back to the ghosts or he can find his own way. He can see the monsters, and he can see the woman. With a blink of his eye he sees he will never know what will happen if he keeps wandering through these woods. There are no guarantees, there is only life. Yes the dangers are worse, but the rewards are greater and there is a path here. No one can see it, but it is there in the woods. Going will be hard, and his parents will worry. But this is the only way to find out what the forest holds. Go where no one else has gone. Find things no one else has seen.

Wuv... Twue Wuv.

There is a problem that we as a culture have, we can’t seem to tell the difference between Lust and Love. We tend to think that lust is love, while it is rather easy to tell the difference when you think about it. Love is probably the greatest thing that human can experience, lust is just another emotion and often it is a negative one.

Lust is that first feeling you get when you see someone you are attracted too. Lust can give you the shakes, make your heart beat faster, make you not think or not even be able to think. Lust is like a drug, it can make you need to be around that person, as you become addicted to them. Lust can make people do insane things, act in ways they never would otherwise. Lust creates stalkers, lust can kill someone and make them kill. Lust is what causes someone to be violent to someone they are obsessed with. It is lust that is blind, when we are filled with it, we don’t see another faults, or problems. We don’t care about it.

Lust is the physical body, it is about hormones, pheromones, and the effects of the body. The body can override good sense, it can make us not think clearly. I, personally, had that experience. Back when I was working in a casino, I was dealing Blackjack. I was dealing to a full table one day and I glanced up, standing a little away from the table was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She had perfectly tanned skin, long straight brown hair. She was wearing a little black dress, and had the best smile I have seen. I kept dealing but every time I glanced up at her, she would smile at me, and at that moment I would literally lose the ability to read a card or add. After this happened a couple times, the table figured out what was going on and started laughing at me. I can’t blame them it was funny. I even told them I had no idea what card total they had. After a while, her boyfriend came by and they left. But that was a moment I will never forget and happened almost 20 years ago. That was lust. It made my brain shut down completely. I have never had that happen before or since.

Lust is a very powerful emotion, but even though it is romantic, and it is more pervasive than love it is much less and a pale imitation of what real Love is. Love is never negative, love never destroys. Love never makes people jealous, it is open and understanding. Love never hurts someone. Love is not selfish, and it never wants less for another. Love is not blind, with love we see all the person, and we accept everything about them. Love makes us better in all ways. Love forgives, love accepts. When you love you never want another to hurt, for any reason. Love makes us see others as part of ourselves, it never divides. Love takes time to develop, it is the real feeling that comes into us and pushes all negative things away.

There is nothing as powerful as love. This is especially true when dealing with the “paranormal” world. Love is more powerful then hate, it is more powerful than fear. When we allow love to find us then we drive all hate and fear out of us. When we deal with spirits with love then we get love returned. If you send out love you get back love, not fear or anger. When we surround ourselves with love, and the power of love then nothing bad can touch us. This is the essence of the protective circles and prayers for protection. If you have love in your heart then they will be much more powerful and effective. If you have fear and hatred in your heart then that is what you will invite in and all the protective prayers you send out won’t do a thing. Here lust really ins’t going to help much, though I supposed it might come up (no pun I swear) if a succubus or incubus shows up.

When you hear about love being talked about in a romantic way, almost always it is lust that we are talking about. It just doesn’t sound as good to say lust than love. Think about all the times you have heard someone talking about how they love someone and its really just lust. Lust usually burns out within 18 months in even the best cases. Love is forever. However few find love. We get used to someone, it is easier to keep them around, etc. It is lust that makes humans not be an monogamous species. That is evolution at work. Love is something that really doesn’t deal with that, but because love is not about the body it can make us monogamous and can make us be dedicated to another for our life. Lust will pull us to find another to mate with, to play with, that is a natural and chemical reaction.

So, put on a heart shaped TEM and look at the world. Really pay attention to what is lust and what is love. Don’t just buy into the Valentines day bs of what love is, look at real love. Don’t just say oh those two are in love because they are passionate, again that’s lust. Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with lust, it is what drives the species. But just don’t confuse the two. Lust is probably not a good reason to get married, love is. Lust is a great reason to have sex, heck thats what it is designed for. But again don’t think just because you have lust with someone that they will sacrifice for you, or will always be behind you. Don’t expect someone in lust to always be faithful. Sure they will be faithful while they are in the throws of passion (maybe) but not when the fires die down.

We don’t need to lie to ourselves we can admit that lust is lust and love is love. Stop feeding on all the bs that we are fed. Think for yourself, and realize its okay to be honest with ourselves and others. When we ignore things like lust and lie to ourselves that it is love then it has more power over us. The importance is to allow ourselves to be open to see love, real love. We know it when we see it, often because it makes those who can’t feel love angry. Fear and hatred will try to deride love and make it less any chance they get. When fear rules the people then love is hard to find.